Royal Vampires

The Midnight Article "Royal Vampires or Insane Conspirators" was written by u/MatgamarraAlt3 and posted to r/MidnightPaper.

The text of the Article was as follows:

ROYAL VAMPIRES OR INSANE CONSPIRATORS?

Have you ever wondered how the members of the royal family are able to live for so long, dear reader? Access to exclusive and state-of-the-art medical treatment? A calm life without much worrying, with the state paying off all your expenses? The hopes and prayers of an entire nation? What if the truth was much darker?

So thought ex-Emergency Response Team officer and private detective Victor Redwell. Turns out Redwell had the perfect chance to investigate when he received news that Prince Eric was coming to town for the Halifax Olympics. Some insiders say that members of the very local police department hired him to do the dirty job.

A few days after the arrival of Prince Eric, eight bodies were found under a bridge just outside town. All of them were completely drained of blood and had tiny holes in their necks. It was cause of great speculation, because the police archived the case in the own day it happened.

Another informer from the Halifax police told us that Queen Victoria personally called to order no further investigation. The members of the Royal Family are completely protected from prosecution and can disband the government if they wish, so the PD did as told immediately.

Unfortunately for the royals, Victor Redwell was no longer a member of the police, and carried on his particular inquiry. Prince Eric, completely absorbed by the athletic games and his own luxurious private life, reportedly didn’t notice while his private rented home, yacht, airplane and limousine were invaded and turned upside-down. Officially, those crimes were attributed to Mr. Redwell, but some theorize other investigators, maybe police officers, helped him.

It was speculated that the proofs collected by Victor would be used to illegally arrest Prince Eric and immediately execute him, exposing the truth about the Royals while doing so. Unfortunately for the conspirators, the plan failed at it’s pivotal moment.

The day the conspiracy would be put to fruition, the entire family of Detective Redwell was found dead in their homes. Every member of it, ranging from his and his wife’s parents to cousins, sons and aunts. Their bodies drained of blood. Our informers tell us this was the moment the police backed down and reconsidered engaging in the regicidal affair.

However, while the example worked with the police, Redwell didn’t give up. He was instead more determined than ever. Using his connections and vast military training in stealth and combat, Victor was able to bypass the Olympics security and reach Prince Eric and his girlfriend Eliseé Potage. Using a shotgun he stole from the local security, he used all 27 rounds the firearm had on the prince and ex-future Princess before being shot by a security guard and dying on spot.

While the almost-princess sadly died immediately after being shot thrice, the prince was luckier, surviving the twenty-four shotgun shots to his face with minor scars and bruises. More intriguing was the fact that three days later a fire hit the police department and thirteen police officers were completely carbonized, with absolutely no trace of their bodies left, including the chief of police.

The new police chief, whom is actually a childhood friend of Prince Eric and the Royal Family, has yesterday announced that the thirty-three vampiric-like murders were actually all perpetrated by Victor Redwell, so immersed in his conspiracy theories that he tried to frame Prince Eric.

Our hopes and prayers go to Prince Eric, and we here at the Midnight Paper wish him a fast and harmless recuperation.

Description:

"Royal Vampires" are Undead-Type Oddities. They appear to display most of the qualities normally attributed to vampires in popular culture and folklore. This includes drinking blood and possessing an incredible resistance to damage and an ability to heal any physical damage incredibly rapidly. The only quality that distinguishes Royal Vampires from their more popular counterparts is that they appear to be able to walk in the daylight without sustaining any damage. This immunity to sunlight can be inferred by the fact that Prince Eric, one of the most famous people on the planet, would not be able to avoid going out in the daylight without avoiding suspicion.

The Article seems to infer that most, if not all, of the Royal Family of England are secretly vampires. However, given the size of the Royal Family, it is possible that not all of them are born as vampires.

Aging:

Most of the Royal Family appear to have aged normally. The older members, including Queen Elizabeth II, have grey or white hair, wrinkles, drooped postures, and possess what look like frail and aged bodies. There are two possibilities to explain this apparent aging: 1. The aging is unavoidable, even for immortal beings. There is a point where their bodies will no longer age and they will remain that way forever. 2. The apparent aging is actually some kind of disguise or illusion which serves to avoid suspicion from their subjects.

Spouses:

It is possible that the spouses of the Royal family, who are not nobles themselves, are not Royal Vampires. Eliseé Potage, for example, possessed none of the regenerative qualities or immense durability that her boyfriend, Prince Eric, did. It is not hard to imagine, however, that, given that Potage was not legally married to Prince Eric, she had not yet been turned into a vampire.

Origins:

It is not known where along the Royal Family tree vampirism originated. It is possible that, at some point, one of the members of the Royal family became a vampire either willingly or unwillingly, and passed the condition on to the other members. It is unknown when along the timeline of the Royal Family vampirism occured, whether this was during the House of Wessex, the House of Knýtlinga, the House of Normandy, the House of Plantagenet, the House of Tudor, the House of Stuart, the House of Hanover, or the House of Windsor, is a mystery.

Hidden Members:

It is highly probably that, once a member of the Royal Family reaches an age where they are close to surpassing the life expectancy of a normal human, they remove themselves from the public and pretend to have passed away. The "deceased" member of the Royal Vampires will then most likely retreat to a hidden location where they will remain for an indeterminate amount of time. How involved these "deceased" members of the Royal Family remain in British politics is unknown.

Cover-Up:

It is not hard to imagine that, given the political and cultural power that the Royal Family possesses, that any misdeeds or suspicious activity would be swept under the rug by their government.

Given the brutal and unforgiving way that they disposed of every single one of Redwell's relatives, it is obvious that the Royal Vampires control governments and people in places of power through fear.

It would then be easy for them to get rid of anyone who would be a threat to their positions of power. It is interesting to note that even the Midnight Paper seems to have covered up Prince Eric's crimes, subscribing to the official story put out by the corrupt Royal Family.