The Weight Loss Pill

The Midnight Article "Could This One Pill Really Be The Answer To All Your Problems?" was written by u/DefaultCameo and posted to r/MidnightPaper.

The text of the Article was as follows:

COULD THIS ONE PILL REALLY BE THE ANSWER TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS? To all of our dear readers we’d like to extend our hand and share with you this amazing sensation that has been sweeping our Outpoke offices like a wildfire. This revolutionary pill has contributed to thousands of pounds already being lost by our staff. The pill is called Lousenit. Simply take one pill before getting into a steaming hot bath and let the fat melt away. You’ll start to notice your bath water begin to turn yellow and a sponge like substance begin to ooze out of your skin. Good news, that’s your fat being released from your body and being forced out through your spores. Say goodbye to belly fat, and say goodbye to those pesky saddlebags and say Hello to Lousenit.

Description:

"Lousenit" (The Weight Loss Pill) is a Chemical-Type Oddity. It appears to be an extremely potent version of the weight loss pills that are often hawked on late night infomercials and spam emails. Indeed, its potency is so extreme that reaches supernatural levels. The results of taking Lousenit are horrific to say the least.

Effects on the Body:

"Simply take one pill before getting into a steaming hot bath and let the fat melt away. You'll start to notice your bath water begin to turn yellow and a sponge-like substance begin to ooze out of your body. Good news, that's your fat being released from your body and being forced out through your pores."

Shortly after taking Lousenit, a victim (there's really no other way to refer to a pill's user) must enter a hot body of water for the pill to be effective. It's not known what happens to people who take the pill and remain dry, but, given the effects of the pill in water, it's possible that the results would be even more dire.

After coming into contact with hot water, a thick, "sponge-like substance" will begin too ooze out of the victim's pores. This is the individual's fat being liquidized and being forced out of the body by the pill.

When the process is done, the results are nightmarish.

The online user who received the Midnight Paper in question (u/DefaultCameo) stated that:

"I’d have to say that it sounded to good to be true, and I was right. Underneath the article there was a picture of some awful looking thing. It looked like a person standing upright in a tub, only with a sheet on over their body. I took a good long look at it before I realized what I was seeing was no Halloween ghost costume but a real person. Their skin hung loose all around them. Some was even floating with what I guess was the fat in the water. The top of their head was covered in wet hair that clung to what I assume is the persons face. Their face… that’s something that will haunt me forever. The eyes looked larger than normal at first, then I realized that their lower lids had been pulled down by the lack of fat in the persons cheeks and neck. Their face looked as though it had loose skin with the amount of flesh hanging off but at the same time their face looked vacuum sealed. I don’t know who else does this but to me their body looked like if you poke a finger into a plastic bag and the bag gets stretched tight around your finger.

They looked like they were in terrible pain."

It appears that, once the pill is done expelling a victim's fat, the results are a fate worse than death. The body becomes misshapen, twisted so extensively that it is hardly recognizable as human. Exactly how much of a user's fat is expelled is unknown, but the percentage is so extreme that their skin hangs as loose as bed sheet draped over a body.

A victim's head is also severely affected. The process of losing the skin in the face and neck has left several vital functions affected to the point of becoming permanently disfigured, possibly to the point of facial paralysis and visual impairment. The fat in the eyelids and around the eye sockets is totally decimated, resulting in the eyes being forced open as the lids are no longer supported by fatty tissues. The mouth would be affected similarly, with the shape of the mouth being supported by fatty deposits in the lips and cheeks. Without them, the mouth would also droop and hang open permanently.

Origins:

The manufacturer of Lousenit is not mentioned in the Article. It is not known if it even has a manufacturer, as the pill may simply be a partially-sentient Oddity of some kind, appearing of its own volition and marketing itself as a weight loss pill as part of some hidden agenda.