Explosive Chocolate

The Midnight Article "Odd Chocolate Makes Children Explode" was written by u/Cuber7535 and posted to r/MidnightPaper.

The text of the Article was as follows:

ODD CHOCOLATE MAKES CHILDREN EXPLODE

Recently we have received reports that a certain brand of chocolate has been causing children to explode, casting a powerful beam of energy which has been proven to be very dangerous. According to one concerned parent, their child was seen running around more enthusiastically than previously, then exploding from energy overload. We advise our readers to keep away from this chocolate.

Now for an update on the drop pod we found last week, another drop pod has landed in a desert. It is made of the same materials. Authorities thought it harmless until a news helicopter flew by and the drop pod sent out a control ship to build anti air turrets, shooting down said helicopter. The turrets appear not to resemble any form of human technology. Both drop pods have been observed with an inscription V0UgSU5URVJSVVBUIFRISVMgQlJPQURDQVNUIFRPIEJSSU5HIFlPVSBBTiBFWENMVVNJVkUgSU5URVJWSUVXIFdJVEggVEhFIEVOVElUSUVT

They can't see this.

No.

They can't know about the TWlzc2lvbg==

Agreed. Their minds would collapse trying to comprehend it.

It is certain that the T3JiIG9mIHJlYWxpdHk= will destroy if we do not constrain it. Which is why we did it.

I must go now.

Farewell, then. VEhFIFNIQVJEUyBXRVJFIEpVU1QgVEhFIEJFR0lOTklORyBPRiBTT01FVEhJTkcgQklHR0VSLg==

We apologize for the interruption. Anyway, the drop pods have the word "Shard" written on them, so we shall refer to them as such. Upon the local authorities trying to destroy the Shard, the control ship spawned earlier, nicknamed Alpha, built several artillery turrets that they were unable to bypass. We would like further information on this subject. If you have any information, please contact us at dGhlcmUgaXMgbm90aGluZyBpbnRlcmVzdGluZyBoZXJlIGdvIGF3YXk=

Description:

"Explosive Chocolate" is an Object-Type Oddity. It appears to be either a chocolate bar or other form of chocolate candy meant for consumption. Its brand is unnamed in the Article, but the way that it is mentioned makes it clear that one particular brand is responsible for the tragic deaths of an unmentioned number of children.

Effects on the Body:

The Article mentions that "a certain brand of chocolate has been causing children to explode, casting a powerful beam of energy which has been proven to be very dangerous. According to one concerned parent, their child was seen running around more enthusiastically than previously, then exploding from energy overload. We advise our readers to keep away from this chocolate."

It can be surmised from the Article that either one, or the combination of all, of the ingredients cause a massive discharge of energy to pour out of anyone who consumed it. As the Chocolate was most likely kept on a shelf of either a supermarket, candy store, convenience store, or pharmacy, it is easy to deduce that the Chocolate does not discharge this energy unless it it consumed.

It is possible, then, that the contents of the Chocolate react in an explosive manner only when they come into contact with the corrosive enzymes that exist inside a human stomach for the purposes of digestion.

The first symptom that a person experiences upon consuming the Chocolate is a sudden upsurge of energy. One pair of parents reported that their child was "running around more enthusiastically than previously."

Shortly after this, however, the Chocolate will release a "beam of energy," rupturing the body of whoever consumed it as the energy sears through them and blasts out into their surroundings. It is clear that nobody who consumes this Chocolate will be able to survive the process, though it is likely that the amount of energy discharged by the Explosive Chocolate depends on the amount consumed. Still, given the immensely destructive qualities of the discharge of energy, it is unlikely that anyone would survive even a small discharge, as even the smallest rupture in a person's stomach has the potential to be fatal.

Origins:

The origins of the Explosive Chocolate are not mentioned in the Article. However, it does mention that a particular brand was identified as being responsible for the gruesome deaths. Thus, we know that the Chocolate has a brand name, one that was identifiable as a brand name (it is likely that a custom label with a nonexistent brand on it would have been mentioned).

It is possible that the company responsible for the manufacture of the Explosive Chocolate changed their formula somehow, and had not tested (or did not care about) the effects of the Chocolate on the body.

The extremely destructive capabilities of the Explosive Chocolate are incredibly obvious and would without a doubt cast suspicion on the manufacturer of the last thing the children ate before exploding. The company responsible, then, would either not care about the legal repercussions (it is possible that they were set up as a false company by a larger, more mysterious corporate entity) or that someone working inside the company wished to sabotage their operations by incriminating them in the brutal deaths of several children.

Whatever the case, a real-world company is implicated, which means that there is at least some tie to the real world. The Explosive Chocolate did not, for example, mysteriously materialize on shelves as a unrecognized brand.

However, given the extreme effects of the consumption of this Chocolate, it is hard to imagine that it is of terrestrial origin. In fact, the "energy beam" is so incredibly destructive and appears so suddenly, that is is likely that at least one of the components of the Chocolate was created in another dimension, planet, timelines, or plane of existence than our own.

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The Article ends with an update to The Pod Article. The update will be posted and discussed on that page.